This week has been a roller coaster ride for me. My emotion has been up and down spinning without stopping. Weeks like this make me wonder if I truly have Jesus in my heart. The world is in control of my emotions when I know I should allow the Holy Spirit to guide me. The only way to get off this crazy dysfunctional ride is to leave it with God, all of it – the longing, the dreams, the goals. Sometimes, you have to toss away everything and start with nothing. Sometimes, that is the only way to be happy, the only way to be content.
What do you need to throw away?
Monday, July 28, 2008
Tuesday, June 3, 2008
All I Want
His mother responded to him on the phone, "You can't stop some people, Jones. They come into your life destine to leave it. You can wrap your arms tight around them. The best you can hope to do is slow them down a little 'cause there's no holding on tight enough."
Israel: I try to hold on to the memories, the smell, the touch, the friendships, the hugs, but they all slowly slip away. The only thing that is everlasting is the love of Christ. Your spouse might leave, your children, your family, your friends will, too. But God will never leave you, no matter what you do.
Israel: I try to hold on to the memories, the smell, the touch, the friendships, the hugs, but they all slowly slip away. The only thing that is everlasting is the love of Christ. Your spouse might leave, your children, your family, your friends will, too. But God will never leave you, no matter what you do.
Israel Day 7 – Beauty need only be a Whisper
The last night on-the-town is an event in Old Jerusalem near the Wailing Wall. Sixty years ago, Israel was established. The state of Israel is the headquarter for all Jews to come and be safe – to show that Jewish blood is not cheap anymore.
We sit and applaud as the 60th Anniversary celebration starts. Benny Hinn speaks and brings our spirits high, more in awe with Israel. Rueben Morgan leads us into a night of amazing worship for our well loved Father. After falling madly in love with Jesus all over again, the event ends too soon.
.
In my hotel room, I sleep, smiling and free from worries of my mind, knowing that I met many wonderful on-fire lovers of God. His people are strong and we are growing everyday. And that is the beauty of it all; God whispers to us by bringing His children together.
We sit and applaud as the 60th Anniversary celebration starts. Benny Hinn speaks and brings our spirits high, more in awe with Israel. Rueben Morgan leads us into a night of amazing worship for our well loved Father. After falling madly in love with Jesus all over again, the event ends too soon.
.
In my hotel room, I sleep, smiling and free from worries of my mind, knowing that I met many wonderful on-fire lovers of God. His people are strong and we are growing everyday. And that is the beauty of it all; God whispers to us by bringing His children together.
Israel Day 6 – The World of Yesterday
Yad Vashem Holocaust Museum – killed, murdered, raped, spat on, kicked, stabbed, humiliated, stripped of home and family – 6 million Jews killed and 1.5 million were children. 
The Jewish people are poetic. They named Yad Vashem from Isaiah 56:5, a memorial to the Names. So much pain; lives wasted. In the museum, my heart tries to conceal the emotion, I try to be strong, but the tears build up and pour out like an angry storm. As I stand, in this place of stolen lives, watching videos about the survivors, trying hard to hide the sadness and tears collecting on the lenses of my glasses, a woman walks up to me and asks, “Was this video worth watching?” I nod and give her a quick glance. Inside, I want to scream, “What the hell! These are people’s lives! What do you mean was it worth ten minutes of my time to listen to their stories?” A heavy weariness spreads over me. I walk away and sit on a bench to watch a different video. God is good. He sends a familiar face with a calming spirit to sit next to me, allowing my sorrow to rest.
I cry for you and I cry for me too. The Jews are God’s chosen people and the enemy has much to fear, that’s why he tried so hard to get rid of them all. As I type this, I am still filled with sadness.
The Jewish people are poetic. They named Yad Vashem from Isaiah 56:5, a memorial to the Names. So much pain; lives wasted. In the museum, my heart tries to conceal the emotion, I try to be strong, but the tears build up and pour out like an angry storm. As I stand, in this place of stolen lives, watching videos about the survivors, trying hard to hide the sadness and tears collecting on the lenses of my glasses, a woman walks up to me and asks, “Was this video worth watching?” I nod and give her a quick glance. Inside, I want to scream, “What the hell! These are people’s lives! What do you mean was it worth ten minutes of my time to listen to their stories?” A heavy weariness spreads over me. I walk away and sit on a bench to watch a different video. God is good. He sends a familiar face with a calming spirit to sit next to me, allowing my sorrow to rest.
I cry for you and I cry for me too. The Jews are God’s chosen people and the enemy has much to fear, that’s why he tried so hard to get rid of them all. As I type this, I am still filled with sadness.
Israel Day 5 – So much and so little
GodTV gave us a full tour. There was so much to do and so little time.
~Our breath inhales the fact that we are at the same spot where Jesus healed the man who was lame for 38 years – the Pool of Bethesda (House of Mercy). (John 5: 1-12)
~The Garden of Gethsemane where Jesus agonized the night he was betrayed.
~The Western Wall, also known as the Wailing Wall, the most holy place accessible to the Jewish people today. Thousands of people gather daily for prayer. My roommate, Sheryl and our new found friend, Matthew snuck off at night and went to pray among the Jewish people – a great night of adventure with my kindred spirits. The best night ever!
~The Garden Tomb is where I believe Jesus was truly laid after His crucifixion, a powerful visit with God’s presence strong and near. We all communion, pray for one another and praise God with our humble singing.
~The Upper Room, where the Last Supper was held and King David’s tomb.
~Our breath inhales the fact that we are at the same spot where Jesus healed the man who was lame for 38 years – the Pool of Bethesda (House of Mercy). (John 5: 1-12)
~The Garden of Gethsemane where Jesus agonized the night he was betrayed.
~The Western Wall, also known as the Wailing Wall, the most holy place accessible to the Jewish people today. Thousands of people gather daily for prayer. My roommate, Sheryl and our new found friend, Matthew snuck off at night and went to pray among the Jewish people – a great night of adventure with my kindred spirits. The best night ever!
~The Garden Tomb is where I believe Jesus was truly laid after His crucifixion, a powerful visit with God’s presence strong and near. We all communion, pray for one another and praise God with our humble singing.
~The Upper Room, where the Last Supper was held and King David’s tomb.
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
Israel Day 4 – Drowned in fierce emotions
This day is packed with visits to the Sea of Galilee, Capernaum and the Mount of Beatitudes where Jesus preached His famous ‘Sermon of the Mount’. As I walk through the extraordinary places where Jesus performed His miracles, I yearn and search, with a substantial, voracious thirst, for His touch.
The greatest event of all is being baptized in the Jordan River! This is not just another baptism. As I am submerged into the cool water, the heaviness of the world loosens and my worldly dreams, one by one are discharged into the cleansing stream. The ultimate peace of God and the overwhelming emotion of gratitude envelop me as I hug my roommate, Sheryl. The sweetness of God’s mercy spreads in my heart and stomach.
That night, on Mount Carmel, Kim Clement hosts a sunset concert. This is the place where God answered by fire as Elijah stood against the false prophets of Baal. Kim’s prophetic worship wins over the spiritual battle against the false gods – a perfect ending to a perfect day.
Israel Day 3 – Painter of Time
We wait in line as we watch a tower of Christians in front of us talk with breathless enthusiasm about The Call. This event is unforgettable – Messianic Jews praying for the Fire of the Holy Spirit to reign over Israel, Messianic Jews and Palestinian Christians praying together on stage, blessing each other, the Messianic Jews ask for forgiveness from God for not believing in Jesus! God is the Master Painter of time, space and miracles.
A heavy burden spreads over me when the subject of abortion is dramatically announced by a Christian man name Jaeson Ma. Almost 27 years prior, his mother was about to take his life when she found out she was pregnant. Her boyfriend at the time did not want the baby and called it an accident. By the grace of God, a Christian doctor persuaded her to keep the child. Now, that child, Jaeson Ma, is an instrument for Christ, bringing thousands of souls to Christ with his story. There are 2 million abortions out of 7.5 million people in Israel. The enemy is trying his best to keep God’s people down. The Call is fighting along side God to pull down the gates of hell, leaving us with an attack of optimism –that life can be truly beautiful without all the spiritual warfare.
We sit and worship God from morning until night, waiting for the Holy Spirit to permeate patiently around us and within us.
A heavy burden spreads over me when the subject of abortion is dramatically announced by a Christian man name Jaeson Ma. Almost 27 years prior, his mother was about to take his life when she found out she was pregnant. Her boyfriend at the time did not want the baby and called it an accident. By the grace of God, a Christian doctor persuaded her to keep the child. Now, that child, Jaeson Ma, is an instrument for Christ, bringing thousands of souls to Christ with his story. There are 2 million abortions out of 7.5 million people in Israel. The enemy is trying his best to keep God’s people down. The Call is fighting along side God to pull down the gates of hell, leaving us with an attack of optimism –that life can be truly beautiful without all the spiritual warfare.
We sit and worship God from morning until night, waiting for the Holy Spirit to permeate patiently around us and within us.
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