Have you ever met a person who made you apprehensive of your next date? Who made you terrify of hoping, of knowing he exists because if he leaves, it would hurt too much? Have you ever met a man who took you to the point of forgetting your principle, of feeling placated and enthralled by the sound of traffic horns, the cry of a stranger’s frown, or the gray rainy sky during a winter rush in San Francisco?
That is the kind of relationship we fear. The fear of losing control of our heart makes us think that everything is beautiful until we forget our higher purpose of life.
Song of Songs 3:5
Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires.
God consistently teaches me about loving others, loving myself, but most importantly, loving Him. At the verge of falling for a man, I found God nudging me early this morning -before the sun can smile down on earth, before the world shakes off its slumber- He reminds me of my imperfection as I stumble through life:
“Put your focus back on Me, My beloved.”
“Pray for all your thoughts to be captivated by Me, by the Way I think and the Way I feel.”
“Continue to pray for a desperation for Me in your life and heart.”
“Pray for complete purified heart, emotion and action to the point of walking with the command of authority over situations and illness.”
“Pray that I will not be lost in the mists of your thoughts of him and rarely would you visit My Word with your touching eyes.”
God woke me after four hours of sleep. I prayed and repented for not putting Him first this last week. He showed me my mistakes and I love Him more.