Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Generation of Fun

I had an interesting conversation with my friends tonight about relationships and commitment. One of my friends said that this generation is different from the past generations during our parents’ time, during our grandparents’ time. It is true. This is a new kind of generation. It is a generation without the fear of God, without honor, without end - a generation that wants instant gratification, a generation that appreciates very little, a generation with an unquenchable thirst for pleasure.

This generation is constantly searching for happiness in all the wrong places. Looking for love at bars, in a darkroom at nightclubs, and with other attached people. This generation has it all wrong, chasing after the wrong things like money, fame, and random sex with strangers in all the while believing that all of these things will make it happy - make it extremely happy.

Unless this generation realizes that life is not a detour at every turn, it will crash and burn in the agony of constant search for the unreachable, unrealistic Utopia. The only true way to happiness is through loving Christ, to truly love Him and pursue Him with all its heart, with all its mind, with all its strength and with all its soul. Unfortunately, this generation of the world will never learn this secret until it is too late and this earth is burning in hell. A warning to this generation: you will not even get a drop of water to cool your tongue as you are in anguish from the flames of hell. (Luke 16:19-31)

My heart goes out to this generation of the world. Until it repents of its self-centered ways, stops nurturing its flesh, and learns to abstain from sin; if it never looks to Christ as Savior of the world, hell is its destiny. Hell is its reward. Hell is its mirror.

Sunday, December 26, 2010

I Remember

Another restless night. My mind never stops thinking. Watched a movie on Netflix, hoping that it will soothe and cradle my mind. Sleep. I want sleep, but my thoughts rage on. Pictures of the past make me remember, force me to see what I no longer care about.

I remember walking into the bathroom to see my mother drunk, out cold on the floor.
I remember hating her for not loving me.
I remember being the black sheep, the escape goat.
I remember wishing my mother would reciprocate my desperation for her affection.
I remember my sisters playing sick, not wanting to face the world.

I remember finding out my pseudo father was a master Kung Fu fighter.
I remember life was easy once.
I remember the chaos of running from my home country.
I remember the trip on the boat to Freedom.
I remember the refugee camp in Guam.

I remember the chaos of running from home after another beating from my mother.
I remember sitting on the bus crying because my mother hates me,
because she will never see me as a daughter, because she will always see me as monetary value, because the melody to Miss Saigon was so beautiful.

Then I remember that my future is bigger than my past.
And I am thankful once again that God loves me, that I am His daughter, and that I am valued.