The Narrow Road

As I am geared up to start our next Inner Beauty small group, I am brought back to the quote: "A woman's heart should be so lost in Christ that a man needs to seek Him in order to find her."

I confess that my heart is not as lost as it should be. I confess that my hours are filled with worries of work and life. I confess that though I am running to Jesus, I am not yet in His arms.

A friend sent me the below message from Ruth Graham. It is good to want marriage; it’s not good to obsess over it. Jesus is our God, He comes first and then the rest WILL follow. It is good to want a husband/spouse; it is not good to settle for less than God’s best for you. It is good to be passionate; it is not good to let passion control your action.



Ladies, if you are married; God bless you with a rich relationship that is thick of God’s grace and love. If you are single, God bless you with the right man at the right time because the honest truth is: "Love is all a matter of timing. It's no good meeting the right person...too soon or too late." (2046)

Let God’s timing unfold; His timing is perfect.

Anointed for More - Part 1

During my long drive back from Aslan’s Place after a prayer ministry over me and my generational line, my friend and I discussed about the difference between the Deborah anointing and Esther anointing – which of our girl friends have the Deborah anointing and which have the Esther anointing.

I don’t think I have either one. It made me wonder what other Biblical women who were anointed by God. To be anointed is to have God’s power resting upon you. Anointing brings you freedom from any servitude or oppression and allows you to walk in ministry that will bear fruit. Interesting enough, my prayer minister told me that she could see a lot of creative ideas hovering over my head, but I have yet to pull them down and put them in order. I felt God wanted me to study the different anointings and speak to the women at the conference I am putting together on God’s Beauty. [If you have any resources you could share, please let me know. I’d appreciate it very much. Thanks in advance!]

Deborah, in Judges 4, was a prophetess, a judge with the anointing of wisdom, council and discernment. She was also a leader who recognized, nurtured and released the giftings of others. Deborah had the presence of God with her and people were blessed wherever she went by it. She carried a strong spirit of leadership with authority, something you can only possessed from God. She recognized God’s voice and obeyed Him immediately, allowing her to walk in confidence of God. Deborah was in the forefront and helped men to become leaders. Deborah carried the boldness of a warring anointing, a great intercessor for spiritual warfare.

Deborah, I am not.

Esther, in the Book of Esther, was an orphan made queen only because of God’s grace, favor and mercy. Esther saved her people from genocide by coming to the throne of the king uninvited, which was a death sentence for herself. Esther was an intercessor who purified her heart and body before she was allowed in the king’s presence. She spent three days with the Lord in prayer, fasting and soaking. When she went to see the king, she was filled with faith, courage and beauty of holiness. This gave her favor with the king to accomplish God’s plans for His people. Esther had the anointing of intercessory for the people. She worked behind the scene and did not show herself until necessary.

Esther, I am not.

2 Corinthians 1:21,22 states that God anointed us.

21Now it is God who makes both us and you stand firm in Christ. He anointed us,
22set his seal of ownership on us, and put his Spirit in our hearts as a deposit, guaranteeing what is to come.

We all have a purpose and when we walk in our anointing, we are free to be fruitful and walk in confidence with how God made us. There won't be any jealousy of someone else's anointing or gifting. There won't be any strife on trying to be who we are not. We would then be able to lift up our fellow sisters in Christ with honor in their giftings.

Joshua 24:15

Have you ever met a person who made you apprehensive of your next date? Who made you terrify of hoping, of knowing he exists because if he leaves, it would hurt too much? Have you ever met a man who took you to the point of forgetting your principle, of feeling placated and enthralled by the sound of traffic horns, the cry of a stranger’s frown, or the gray rainy sky during a winter rush in San Francisco?

That is the kind of relationship we fear. The fear of losing control of our heart makes us think that everything is beautiful until we forget our higher purpose of life.

Song of Songs 3:5
Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires.

God consistently teaches me about loving others, loving myself, but most importantly, loving Him. At the verge of falling for a man, I found God nudging me early this morning -before the sun can smile down on earth, before the world shakes off its slumber- He reminds me of my imperfection as I stumble through life:

“Put your focus back on Me, My beloved.”

“Pray for all your thoughts to be captivated by Me, by the Way I think and the Way I feel.”

“Continue to pray for a desperation for Me in your life and heart.”

“Pray for complete purified heart, emotion and action to the point of walking with the command of authority over situations and illness.”

“Pray that I will not be lost in the mists of your thoughts of him and rarely would you visit My Word with your touching eyes.”

God woke me after four hours of sleep. I prayed and repented for not putting Him first this last week. He showed me my mistakes and I love Him more.

More to Life

Once, I heard a godly friend of mine, whom I looked up to, say that her purpose in life was to be married and to have kids. Shock was the only emotion I remember feeling. There are death and sickness in this world. There are poverty and brokenness. Jesus said to go heal the sick and free His people from bondage.

This last week, attending a memorial service, having a friend go through brain surgery for the second time, and watching our nation dying after the Presidential election, passed like a trance before my eyes. There is more to life than being married and having kids. God did not put us on earth to merely be, to merely find our soul mate or to merely have babies. We were put on earth to be a flame as well as a breath to the world.

My heart is burdened for my own generation, for my own friends, for my own family. There is a purpose for everyone. We were no accident. Understand that God’s pursuit of our lives is not to have it scudded into the wind. There is more to life. There is more to us. Put the focus on becoming the salt of the world rather than finding the perfect mate. Pursue God with every being, every heartbeat, every thought and every second. Learn His Word, it will explain His Will and purpose for us.

Yes, there is more to life than marriage and children. There is something bigger and better - God and the obedience to what He wants completed.